For a few years now, the Big Ten conference has been teetering on mediocrity. For the most part, the conference was a let down and even the mighty Ohio State sturggled when faced with competition from outside the conference (ESS-EE-SEEEE SPEED). But this weekend was about as bad a weekend as the conference could have had.
The biggest disaster: darkhorse National Championship contender Wisconsin lost to Oregon State. The same Oregon State team that 
Wisconsin beat last year 35-0. The same Oregon State team that lost to friggin’ Sacramento State. They held Heisman candidate Montee Ball to just 61 yards on 15 carries in the Badgers’ 10-7 loss. The loss was so bad the Badgers fired their offensive line coach. It was his second game! Nothing says “meltdown” quite like firing a position coach after his second game. HEADS GOTTA ROLL. After barely beating Northern Iowa in week 1, we probably should be worried about Wisconsin especially as the potential flag-bearer for the Big Ten. But with the mediocrity surrounding the Big Ten, they probably still have a great shot to run the table. BCS CONFERENCE WUT
The next biggest disaster: Nebraska fell to UCLA. Taylor Martinez, hoping to establish himself in the Heisman race and get Nebraska rolling heading into the Big Ten slate, managed only 179 yards passing and no touchdowns (he did have one rushing). The Huskers defense was atrocious, giving up 653 yards of total offense to the Bruins. Granted, UCLA is now 2nd in the nation in running but that’s partially because of their efforts against a terrible Nebraska unit replacing a ton of star power from an only-okay defense of last year. They’ll get a couple of cream puffs to recover against (Arkansas State and Idaho State) before hitting the tough stretch against Wisconsin and Ohio State.
Disaster the third: Iowa loses to Iowa State 9-6. I never have any idea what to make of the Hawkeyes and this is just another one of those results that leads me to believe they’ll be awful before they go and upset someone like Michigan or Michigan State. James Vandenburg continues to struggle in this offense, throwing for just 129 yards. It doesn’t help that Iowa is down to its water boy at starting running back (seriously, google “Angry Iowa Running Back Hating God”). This team will probably Jekyll and Hyde its way to a 7-5 record.
Not so disastrous: Michigan beats Air Force 31-25. Look, I know it’s Air Force. I know Michigan was hyped to the moon this season. But breaking in a new defense against a triple option attack probably isn’t going to produce pretty results. Watching the game, a stream of profanity poured from me as the Wolverines failed to make a stop. But looking back, Air Force just does this to people. When the defense goes up against a typical Big Ten defense, then we’ll have a fair idea of where this unit sits. I’m just happy to have been able to watch a full game knowing that my team was still in it, let alone winning.
Not so disastrous unless you’re a Penn State fan: Penn State lost a heart-breaker to Virginia, missing a last-second field goal that would have given the much-maligned Nittany Lions the win. Considering they were 10-point underdogs coming into the game, it’s a moral victory, right? Not so much. Scott Norwood watched this game, saw missed field goal after missed field goal, and muttered “I know that feel, bro” to his television.
The rest of the Big Ten slate was uneventful: Illinois got blown out but who cares? It’s Illinois. Northwestern beat Vandy, Indiana routed UMass (who has Michigan next), Michigan State Juggalo’d Central Michigan, and Ohio State beat Central Florida.
Thankfully for the Big Ten, they reach the portion of the schedule where they can club baby seals like UMass and Idaho State before they start bludgeoning each other. Can’t wait for another BCS bowl ass-whipping for the Big Ten.
Grab Your Balls 