I didn’t want to have to do this. Everyone and their mothers has written something about the NFL and the replacement referee debacle so I didn’t really have much to add to it. Until last night.
Twitter rightfully exploded after last night’s controversial call. Comedian Patton Oswalt (and several others) revealed the next Adam Sandler/Kevin James flick (The Replacement Refs, rated PG-13). Others used the opportunity 
to make joke after joke about games being fixed and Ed Hochuli pumping iron.
Now, I’m not going to lie here: I had money on Green Bay. So I was pissed off. Probably not anywhere near as pissed off as Packers fans (or Packers offensive lineman JD Lang according to his Twitter) but pretty pissed off . Then it just became a little bit surreal. They really ruled that a touchdown? How the hell do millions of fat, drunk slobs at home know that was an interception and the goddamn referees don’t?
We all knew this was a shitshow. The refs have been awful thus far, getting penalties wrong and taking forever to arrive at that wrong decision. But now we’re to the point where they’re actually costing teams games? I don’t care if the Packers should’ve knocked it down, the fact of the matter is MD Jennings HAD THE GODDAMN BALL and, somehow, Golden Tate having one hand on it constitutes possession. There were a million and a half penalties over the course of the night and they screwed up in egregious fashion not much earlier when they ruled a pass interference on Green Bay that was CLEARLY offensive pass interference. But the call at the end just took the cake.
The league and all these talking heads talk with a slight sense of wonder about how the players treat the replacement refs in a manipulating manner and the real question is “why wouldn’t they?” These refs are TERRIBLE and easily influenced; you suck at your job as a professional if you don’t try to exploit these clowns.
Look, I don’t blame the refs. The biology teacher and the insurance salesman aren’t fit to be NFL refs; they’re in way over their heads. I don’t even blame Roger Goodell because he’s just the owners’ puppet, dancing when they wish him to. I blame the greedy, can’t-be-rich-enough owners who refuse to make their product better by paying for the real goddamn refs who will only screw up slightly but not openly cost a team a game. What now, owners? What now that your product is slow and aggravating?
And the sad part? The NFL owners don’t give a flying shit because you, me, and everyone else is going to continue to watch and they would sooner choke on their own shit than give more money to the 
real refs. Why would they if we keep watching the games and lining their pockets?
All I know is that this is EXACTLY what the NFL hoped wouldn’t happen. Regular fuck-ups are fine but costing a team a game might not be something Goodell can just sweep under the rug.
Somewhere, Ed Hochuli is watching. He takes in a set of curls and never stops smiling. “Soon,” he whispers to his biceps. “Soon.”
the Bills. No one outside of Buffalo does. You know what though? I don’t care. This is MY space and I’m gonna do with it what I want. That said, the Bills looked GOOD against the Chiefs. Whether that is because they are figuring things out or because the Chiefs are terrible is another question. CJ Spiller went off again and has supplanted Fred Jackson (if the Bills are dumb enough to sit Spiller when Jackson comes back, I don’t know what I’m going to do) for the time being. Fitzpatrick still looks shaky and indecisive, which scares me, but he didn’t turn the ball over and was efficient enough(10/19, 178yds 2 TDs). THAT’S HOW WE DO IT AT HARVARD. The defense actually looked good until the garbage time but that was to be expected. The Bills should crush Cleveland on Sunday (I’ll be there) before they get annihilated by the Patriots in week 4. Speaking of those Patriots..
(SOLDIER!) isn’t a better option than the Mighty White. With Aaron Hernandez out of the picture for the next few weeks, Welker is going to get more targets unless Belichick enjoys hindering his own offense. Then again, he seems like a real prick so that wouldn’t surprise me.
shove one of them out of anger and frustration” kind of fire. He really strikes me as the kind of guy who calls his offensive linemen “fat fucks” when they screw up. Just a feeling. People are high on the Bears this year but to be fair to Jay, the offensive line is a total shitshow and may or may not get him killed. I understand they finally have a legit #1 receiver in Brandon Marshall but if Cutler doesn’t even have a chance to find him what’s that gonna matter? Looking forward to many more stories about him going off on a teammate before being called out publicly following an awful loss.
to make a call? Hell no. We’re going to sit there and stuff our fat faces while we bitch and moan about what’s happening but forget about it the second the next play starts. The NFL knows the replacement refs blow but they don’t want to (and won’t) pay the regulars to come back so just get used to a total clusterfuck from the refs. Besides, it’s not like it matters; you’re going to watch anyways. You could basically substitute the whole movie previews scene from 
the Packers followed by a truly stifling performance against Matt Stafford and the Lions on Sunday night, this team has to be the favorites. They just beat the shit out of people defensively. They don’t give up big plays and consistently pressure the quarterback. And everyone questioning Alex Smith? Not so much these days. Completing 70% of your passes for 429 yards, 4 TD’s and no interceptions will do that. Add in Frank Gore giving the finger to those who thought Kendall Hunter would fully supplant him (the two still share carries) and the offense is legitimately formidable. The Bills have them in week 5 and I already want to curl into a ball and drink.
Wisconsin beat last year 35-0. The same Oregon State team that lost to friggin’ Sacramento State. They held Heisman candidate Montee Ball to just 61 yards on 15 carries in the Badgers’ 10-7 loss. The loss was so bad the Badgers fired their offensive line coach. It was his second game! Nothing says “meltdown” quite like firing a position coach after his second game. HEADS GOTTA ROLL. After barely beating Northern Iowa in week 1, we probably should be worried about Wisconsin especially as the potential flag-bearer for the Big Ten. But with the mediocrity surrounding the Big Ten, they probably still have a great shot to run the table. BCS CONFERENCE WUT
Not so disastrous: Michigan beats Air Force 31-25. Look, I know it’s Air Force. I know Michigan was hyped to the moon this season. But breaking in a new defense against a triple option attack probably isn’t going to produce pretty results. Watching the game, a stream of profanity poured from me as the Wolverines failed to make a stop. But looking back, Air Force just does this to people. When the defense goes up against a typical Big Ten defense, then we’ll have a fair idea of where this unit sits. I’m just happy to have been able to watch a full game knowing that my team was still in it, let alone winning.
was learned that talks between the two sides had ceased a few days ago and, after you read the transcript of the last talks that our covert ninjas managed to acquire, you’ll understand why.
for Montreal Expos games. Just retract them, Gary. 
